I’ve done this before, and I never seem to be able to stick to it. I guess because I thought writing was only about me. I have learned that its NOT only about me and my catharsis. Writing is also, mainly, about you. And by you, I mean any one of you that may choose to read what I’m putting down. This writing is as well about the parts of it you, yourself may take away to have function and form in your own life.
Ok.
I’m 33 years old. I have a fairly nice place to live, I have great food in my fridge, I have a man whom I would walk to the edge of the earth for. And whom, incidentally, loves to cook said food in fridge. For both ourselves and others. I have a steady-ish job which pays the bills. I’m content you could say. Why then, do I suddenly feel like a caged animal? I mean, snarl at anyone, rip your arm off if you come close , trying to dig my way out, caged animal. ( Please, someone tell me you know what i am talking about!) So, I begin asking questions. Is it my age? Where I am in my life? Who I am with? My personal, and or spiritual beliefs? I have everything that makes one happy. Why can’t I just be fucking grateful for all of it?
It’s because I’ve lost my way, my purpose if you will. Clarity has flown the coop and I am having trouble seeing a clear path. What does one do at this stage?
- Call a friend?
- Find a guru?
- Run?
I admit # 3 tempts me greatly. I’ll never tell how much. Please tell me, what do YOU do when you are lost??
Enquiring minds want to know….especially mine!
Spiritual Odyssey 
When I am lost, I cling to the stuff I know and I try to do whatever I can in that direction to push through the stagnation. I try to make a list of all of the things I want to do in my life and see how many of them I am actually doing. I try and knock myself out of the coma- like- feeling, the boredom, the dissatisfaction.
I try to create something I am happy with. I try to discard the things that make me unhappy.
Change isn’t shameful. It’s not a failure to be unhappy with what you have. If it’s something that you can change, that makes you feel sad or lost, I say change it!
Keep on keeping on…
The times I feel lost are the times I have no focus or direction in my life. Talking with friends definitely helps as does doing things which bring me joy and peace, such as being in nature or with animals. I believe that stagnation and ruts are signs showing us that change is needed, and that some soul searching is necessary to figure out exactly what it is we need. It has definitely been an ongoing trial and error process for me. Feeling grateful for what is and enjoying the moment helps at times. Focus on what brings YOU joy and always remember that you are deeply and dearly loved x